Tired

3/12/17
Pagod na ako, gutom, gusto ko lang matulog. Hindi ko alam pero my brain doesn't work anymre, perhaps, this is the price I shoud pay for trying to push myself to the limits in order to reach my goal. Please God, help me find the right way. Amen

Second Nanay Duties

Nanay duties= Charge Nurse Duties

I can survive my nanay duties as long as he is there, my ultimate vitamin see. 

 I was standing at the nurse's station doing some paper works and he was in the male resuscitation room asking me something. I didn't understand what he was saying 'coz I didn't give him my full attention. He walked down near and looked at me straight into my eyes, for a moment I was stunned. He asked me where I admitted the patient. Then I answered him that I admitted the patient in the obesity unit. He was a bit disappointed (I know coz Obesity Unit is very far). I told in there's no more bed in the surgical wards and the supervisor doesn't want to admit the patient in S2. He got what I mean and then he left.

It was the first time I looked straight into his eyes that long. Usually we talk to each other without even looking at each other coz we're busy doing each others' task. I don't know if it's about the culture or I just got used to it. For it is only to him where I got some feeling of crush.

He returned to ER to fill uo some forms. I was in the desktop registering some patient's. He was standing in front of me in the station he seemed so relaxed asking Dr. Jabi how he was doing, they were having some fun talking at each other. I was busy doing something (coz I'm Nanay) so I left them. My peripheral vision works whenever he is around even if I am busy, you know. So when I left the place, I saw him looking at me leaving. Sometimes, I also want to convince myself that yes, he wants to look at me, too. But sometimes, I wake up to the reality that, how can he like somebody with swollen eyes.

It's up for him to presume what I feel for him, but at least he will not know from my own words that I like him much. By that, I can look at him secretly and enjoy my fantasy. He's GGSS, gwapong gwapos sa sarili kahit walang ligo. Sabi pa nila, yung mabahong residente. Yayks, kakahiya naman crush ko pa naman yun. Siguro yun lang yun kaya tinitingnan niya rin ako minsan. Assuming naman ako di na ak masanay eh malandi nman talaga yan sila sa mga staff

I hope in my next  nanay duties he will still be there. Kahit hindi niya alam ang pangalan ko okay lang. Makita ko lang siya solved na araw ko. #