Listen to Your Heart

Don't Listen to People who Ridicule A Choice You Make. 

Today, one of my supervisors told that I am good since I am only pushing an ultrasound machine. Upon going, another supervisor told me and my colleagues in the echo lab who are also nurses that our choice to transfer to another department from nursing is a lazy thing, we are registered nurses and so we should practice what we took an oath to. Coming home, I came into conclusion that, most of the people in the nursing office are thinking that we are lazy since we don't want to practice our profession. It's disheartening to hear from other people that you are lazy when you broken your back, legs and skull the whole day trying to figure out what's inside the patients heart. I didn't had enough time to argue and defend the choice I made. The thoughts of Jacqueline Schiff popped in my and I had peace. Why listen to those who have proven no name neither reputation in a royal skill of decision making.

Why echo?
I left my career in echo to practice my profession as a nurse because of the people who used to tell what my supervisors told me today. Being an emergency room nurse for almost three years gave me a lot of lesson in life which I am grateful of. But not all experiences are good and worth coming back. I love ER and nursing but there are things in it that didn't make me happy. Some supervisors don't have leadership skills and are bad in decision making, they always put their staff on the line who sometimes are more talented, knowledgeable and decisive that them who is in the position. They make use of the staffs' talent and take credits for themselves. What a shame. Doctors are dependent with the nurses even with encoding, assessment, history taking and diagnosis. I will become a nurse for my patient, for their family, for my colleagues who love and respect me and for the profession that I took an oath to. But not for those supervisors and doctors who are too shabby. In echo, I gain respect from the cardiologist, so why beg respect from the nurses who spent years in nursing with no advancement? I know where I stand, and I stand with my decisions. I cannot promise that I will not come back in nursing but I promise to be happy and let shallow those nurses envy me or hat me for whatever they like to think of me shouldn't matter.

Thoughts That Brought Me to be Where I am Today

Sharing this thoughts with you now that I am again challenged by the people who say that my decision was wrong.

Take These Thoughts With You On Your Journey Through Life

Don't ever forget that you are unique.
Be your best self and not an imitation of someone else.
Find your strengths
and use them in a positive way.
Don't listen to those 
who ridicule the choice you make.
Travel the road that you have chosen
and don't look back with regret.
You have to take chances
to make your dreams happen.
Remember that there is plenty of time
to travel another road-and-still another-
in your journey through life.
Take the time to find the route
that is right for you.
You will learn something valuable 
from every trip you take.
So don't be afraid to make mistakes.
Tell yourself that you're okay
just the way you are
Make friends who respect your true self.
Take time to be alone, too.
So you can know how terrific your own company can be.
Remember that being alone
doesn't always mean being lonely;
it can be a beautiful experience of finding your creativity,
your heartfelt feelings,
and the calm and quiet peace deep inside you.
Please don't ever forget that you are special
and very much loved.
-Jacqueline Schiff

These words were posted on the wall of high school library. Finding it was like finding a treasure that I copied it, kept in my noted all through my college years. Come 2019 and that notebook is still with full of words that motivated me to be where I am today.

Why do I keep these words with me? Growing up means meeting a lot of people along the way that will tell you what are the do's and don'ts' in life. Listening to them will influence your decisions and if your ground is not strong you will be shaken. May it be you siblings, friends or parent who will tell what choice to make, at the end of the day, it is still your life and life is what you make it.

My 2018 Story and Goals for 2019

When I started my career abroad, my new contract date served as my new year and not January 1 for  I was always away from home during holiday season. However, 2018 has been very good to me that I have to rejoice and thank God for it, hence this post.

Last November 8, 2018, I received a transfer letter from the nursing administrator that I will be transferred to the echo lab to be an echo technologist. Euphoria hit me, my brain scattered a bit that I only enthralled on the good side of for it is my dream job and it was the main reason why I accepted the offer in this hospital-- they have a heart center.

I was so happy I didn't have a second thought, never did I recall that the politics here is so rampant. To cut the story short, I got transferred without a proper goodbyes to my colleagues in the ED and to my supervisor who got disappointed with me and never talked to me in a month. I never wanted to burn bridges and I hope I did not. Deep inside I really want to leave but not that way, there was some sort of betrayal which put me in between. My only fault was that, I didn't lay down my conditions before I transferred. I should have been more logical and not emotional that time. My salary, job description and contract were  into compromise because I didn't manage to talk to my supervisor about it. Nonetheless, I pray that everything will fall in place just like before. If not maybe then I'd have the courage to take action.

The best reasons why this transfer was good for me.

1. I am working in place where I started. I am very outspoken that I know how to do echocardiogram because that was my job in the Philippines. And even though I have already talked to the medical director of the hospital and the heart center in the casual way, still I didn't get a transfer. Until, I wanted to resign and they badly needed a staff for echo. I was thinking it took me three years to get this job so  I should make the best out of it.

2. There is one doctor, a researcher also, that I believe graduated from the Harvard Medical School ( I googled it) who is working in this hospital and he is very passionate in teaching. As a passive learner, being able to work with him is a great opportunity and should motivate me.

3. The schedule is way better than I had with nursing. No shifting, no on calls, I am starting the day at 7:30am and end at 5:00pm, I still have time for tea and biscuits and some talks. We are all Filipinos there, we understand each other, the department is clean and doesn't smell. I'm doing a non-invasive procedure, not too exposed to blood and infectious diseases and I can focus to only one thing - ULTRASOUND. I have time to review for my exam, NCLEX, IELTS, PSE examination.

4. No need to review for CBAHI, no need to effort for board of nursing, no quality projects and no hardheaded watchers and annoying residents.

Things that are difficult for me.

1. I am still under nursing administration (ughhh)
2. I don't known if I will commit fully to this because they didn't tell to increase my salary. I guess I will only extend my contract for a year but I need to get my papers before I leave.
a. Recommendation letters from my former ER managers. Maám Sheila, Shesa, Ibrahim, At Jen
b. Recommendations from the doctors I work with in echo lab. Dr. Yahya, Dr. Hazem and Dr. Afridi.
3. Police papers

Before I renew my contract I should be able to:
1. Ask Mohsen if there's any chance that they will increase my salary.
2. Give me a certificate of training so I can take a certifying examination from my home country.

Before 2019 ends, I should be able to pass IELTS with band 7 score and finish my papers with NEAC for my NCLEX. Have a love life. It is also a priority but find someone you can bring with you wherever you want to go.

Everything will fall in place. Study everyday even for just an hour, it help you improve your vocabulary and chances to pass IELTS.

My contract will end in March 2020 and by that I should have passed NCLEX and transfer to another hospital.

 I always plan my future ahead, but things happen unexpectedly, though not all my plans are coming into reality, whatever situation will come to me I will manage.