Wedding Bells

High school days are the best days of my life that is why it is difficult for me to let go of my "high school vibe". When my former classmate invited me to her wedding day, a I was like, whhaaattt? Are you sure friend? I haven't found my on place in this world yet and you're already getting married?I was so alarmed I asked myself, am I being left out or they are just in a hurry?

My classmates, slowly, one by one, are inviting me to attend to their BIG DAY because they're getting married and are having baby.  I really don't understand why my friends are such in a hurry to settle while I still struggle to build my career. Maybe they are just into marriage because of pregnancy out wedlock,or because they are just in love and think that they have found the one. I don't really know their reasons but I'm so alarmed. haha. I still have so many dreams to fulfill, so many places I want to  go to, so many bags and shoes to splurge for but I'm so worried with my ovaries too. hahaha, I'm just having fun with my craziness 'cause honestly, I don't think I have matured enough. I still want to wander and play. I'm not getting married yet. Not yet.

 I feel like, in this very complex life, I am too young to settle. Despite the changes, the financial struggles, the love life problems, the questioning of self worth, the trials and errors and all the disappointments I've been through, I'd still choose to explore any opportunities and possibilities on my own and with no strings attached.

Family is very important to me and before I decide to have my own, I should be ready first. Financially, emotionally, and physically ready. haha. Isali talaga ang physically. I am not saying na 40 na ako mag-asawa. Andami ko ng unwanted curves nun at ang panget ko na sa wedding gown ko. Mga 30 years old siguro choks na.

I think it is difficult to achieve dreams and career when you're already married or when you're already a mother because your priorities change. I don't think I can work abroad with my child being left here in the Philippines.

Other than i'm-too-young-to-settle alibi,  my greatest struggle today is balancing between my career goals and relationship goals. lels. This may sound crazy but yes, I admit, it's very difficult for me to find a partner because I'm so picky. They say smart people also want smart people too. And though I'm not that smart, I really want a smart guy. huhu. #desperation. It's so difficult to find a smart guy who could ride on my weird choices. Why o why so difficult?



Even if they tell me Toni Gonzaga is getting married I'll tell them too, "so what? she's 30. I'm just 23. Duhhh????".

No matter what, I should never rush. I should explore the world of possibilities while I'm young and free. Maybe, my friends chose to settle because they are happy that way. We all have to find our own happiness anyway. They've already found there's. I should also find mine. #