Uphill Climb

I am currently preparing for the scholarship application in medschool. I know, I know, it is going to be an uphill climb especially if you do not have enough FUNDS...

Actually, I already gave up my dream of becoming a doctor after seeing my NMAT result. I feel that, medicine isn't really for me. Surprisingly, a university sent me a letter telling me that they offer scholarships for someone like me. I was resuscitated when I read that letter. Should I received it earlier, maybe I was able to start the process early and I don't have to wait another school year. I was so inspired that time, but as time goes by, as I review more often, as I read a lot more of medicine students' life in my facebook page, the flame of enthusiasm in me is slowly dying.

I don't know. Maybe because it becomes clearer to me that if I don't pass the scholarship, I won't get into medschool. We can't pay even half of the tuition fee. As of now, medschool is everything in my mind. Aside form the things that I have now, I couldn't ask for more. Even if I tell myself that it's okay to fail, at least I tried, sometimes I'm still discouraged. Scholarships for medschool don't usually work. I also think, I'm not that smart.

If there's one thing that keeps me holding on, it's my family. The first time they heard about the scholarship offered, they are also excited and they are willing to help. I just need a lot of prayers to persevere. Despite the uncertainties, despite the sacrifices, despite the fears. After all, becoming a doctor is not only for myself and for my family. I want to serve my community, the people I get along with always. They are the main reasons why I'd like to go to medschool. Because a lot of them were victims of hospital bills. They are poor, they always need subsidy but they don't have to beg each time they need help if they know where to go and to whom they should ask for help.

God grant me a helping hand. I want to use it well.

:) #